Growing up I knew who Jesus was. I at least had a rough idea. He was God’s Son, born to Mary and Joseph and He died on a cross a long time ago. That was about the just of it for a very long time. I’m sure I was told about Him freeing me from sin but it wasn’t something I logged into memory. I always felt as if He and God were way up in heaven and didn’t really bother with me down here.
Sure we went to Church growing up. Most of the time it was me, my sister and my mom. On what seemed like special occasions my dad would come too. When my sister was old enough to drive my mom didn’t go as much either. I didn’t really go to learn anything, just went because we had to. Obligation rather than desire. There wasn’t really a big difference in the people I saw at church verses the ones that didn’t go, so for me it was a waste of my time.
A man approached me one night in a Whataburger when I was in my late teens. He asked if I knew Jesus and went on to tell me how Jesus had a plan for me. That was the first time anyone had talked to me as if Jesus was a real person here right now. As the years went by there were times, mostly when I was locked up, that I would try to get to know more about Him. Over the years I had learned a lot about who He was and what He expected from me but I never really committed fully to Him.
I didn’t understand that battle that goes on that we can’t see. Through the years leading up to my total submission I was back and forth, trusting Him then not trusting Him. I finally realized that it’s not about me, It never has been, it’s about Him. It’s about Jesus. The devil would always creep in and shift my focus back to me. Once that would happen it would return to personal gain. Back to manipulation and cons to benefit me and my desires.
Here I sit, four days before Easter and I ask myself the question: Who is Jesus to me? That is a question that brings a lot of emotion for me. You see Jesus truly saved me. He saved me from myself. Sure I am a work in progress and will never be perfect as long as I drag around this fleshly body but I am not the same person I was almost 4 years ago. Jesus has made me a new person through His death, burial and Resurrection. Jesus is my big brother in this family that has received a filthy and broken person like myself through the sacrifice Jesus made for all of us. Jesus is alive today and is my Rock and my refuge. Jesus is Lord over my life and where I find my strength. He is the one that I lean on when it seems the world around me is falling apart. Jesus is the man I try to reflect and the man I strive to be. Will I ever achieve that? No not by a long shot, but we must pursue Him and His likeness. I must take up my cross and follow Him to the best of my ability.
That is who Jesus is to me. As we approach this Resurrection day, some call Easter, take some time to reflect on who Jesus is to you. It is the whole reason for the day. Not some bunny or eggs and candy. But the day Jesus rose from the grave victorious, defeating hell and the grave. Without His sacrifice we would not be able to be connected to God. We would fall with the rest of the world.